Stray From The Pack
by justtheone2
Summary: After the death of a team member, Changling struggles to cope. How could anything be the same again?
1. Prologue

Raven died. It's as simple as that.

It's been 5 years since Nightwing found her. We're still not entirely sure what went so wrong on a routine night watch. But questions are pointless now, Raven is gone, along with any evidence and more than likely the people that killed her. The tower was quiet for a long time after it happened. Huh, there's a sad irony in that she had always wished for that; enough silence to sit and read in peace. For those of us there it was torture. There was a silent understanding that an important friend, hell, sister was gone, never to return. No video games were played, no TV blared obnoxiously, no shouting or laughter rang through the halls. For months we all just quietly went about what had to be done. Me, Cy, and Nightwing tried to throw ourselves into training, taking out our grief on the punching bags, and criminals that interrupted. At the end of each day we were all too exhausted to do anything but go to bed.

For Star it was different. Tamaraneans grieve differently and are extremely in touch with their feelings. Unlike us humans she couldn't just go about business as usual. She couldn't train or fight crime because her powers were too unstable, she was too much of a risk. And she couldn't fly for a very long time, so she just sat in her room or on the roof and mourned her best friend. Eventually she got back to her old self, throwing herself into helping others, and becoming fiercely protective of those she cared about.

In the first two weeks I was in denial. Rae would come back. She was half demon for God's sake! She couldn't die. She probably got upset at something I did or said and wanted some time away; she'd be back soon with a sarcastic remark about how she didn't know we cared so much. It wasn't until the wake that I realised that it was really happening. Every titan was there, even those that hadn't particularly got on with Rae or liked her. They all paid their respects at the funeral and then reminisced fondly at the wake. The main tower of the tower was filled with people and the smell of pizza filled the air. While everyone spoke to each other trying to make sense of it all, I stood there in a bubble of denial and ignorance. That's when I saw Melvin, Timmy, and Teether huddled together at one end of the sofa, bodies shaking with sobs. That's when I knew. Rae wouldn't do this for a sarcastic comment. Behind the cold front she put up against the world was a warm and loving heart that cared deeply about her family and friends, a heart that wouldn't put them through this misery willingly. Especially her kids.

As years passed things slowly went back to how they were. Crime doesn't stop to let you mourn. Cy, Star, and Nightwing moved on with their lives. Star had a baby with Wing, forcing him to finally pop the question. Cy started seeing Bumblebee. Terra joined the team again, attempting to fill the gap. Me? I started dating Terra. Nothing serious. Nothing physical. As far as she knew it was the animal side of me that needed that space between us and she was respectful of that. But really, it was the mark on my wrist that demanded I never touch her.

 **5 years ago.**

 _Gar._

Trees surrounded me in thick bursts. Every sense seemed heightened and I could smell her lavender scent through the rich pine. Hear her whispers through the raging wind and rustling leaves. This was our place. A place we could be together without anyone knowing. A place where we didn't have to hide our true feelings. I turned. Her cloak fluttered and danced in the wind but she stood as still as a statue. She never had her hood up here, but there it was, covering her face.

 _Gar, I'm sorry._

Her voice shook in a way that made it obvious she was holding back tears. Holding back her feelings. It felt wrong. She was never this closed off from me here. She was only 2 meters away but she'd never felt so distant. I reached out to her…

Screams woke me with a start, causing me to bang my forehead on the top bunk. A state of panic washed over me instantly and I raced to the main room in nothing but my pyjama bottoms. At 17, I'd grown up quite a lot since the Titans were founded, and looked pretty damn good, if I did say so myself! I'd grown a few inches, matured a lot, and took training a bit more seriously in an attempt to impress the ladies. Not that I needed to impress them anymore. Three months ago I started dating the girl of my dreams. But no one needed to know that, Rae would kill me if I told. She's got to maintain her image and all that jazz. Can't be seen all lovey dovey with the green freak that she spent so long pretending to hate. I've got to be the luckiest guy alive!

Entering the main room was like walking into a T.V. drama. Cy was sat at the dining table, head in hands, with a large chunk out of the wall next to him. Star was half collapsed on the floor shrieking and crying with Robin trying to calm her. It all reeked of bad soap opera.

"Wow guys, who died?" I half-chuckled, trying to ease the atmosphere. The looks I received made me wish I'd just stayed in bed. Maybe, Rae was right, I'm not that funny…nah that can't be it. That's when I noticed that Rae wasn't here. It had to have gone 10, she should be up by now, and with Star crying like that there's no way she wouldn't be in here. The emotions would have disturbed her sleep.

"Where's Rae? Has she finally realised she's a teenager and stayed in bed past 5am?" I chuckled at my own joke but the audience was still silent. Star ran out of the room, quickly followed by Cy. "My jokes aren't that bad!"

"Changeling, I found Raven on my morning rounds of the city this morning. I don't know what happened but it looks like she was attacked by surprise and beaten badly. I don't think she had the time or energy to heal herself. She's dead." Now if he'd known the truth he would have been gentler about it but my jokes had annoyed him, and as far as he knew I didn't care all that much about Raven. Before I could react he left the room and I'm so glad he did because I broke down completely. The Beast howled inside my head and raged that he hadn't protected her. Soon I couldn't control him and the next thing I knew I was in our clearing in the woods, broken branches surrounding me.


	2. Chapter 1

5 Years and 3 Months Ago

Something inside of me felt different. There was a longing. And, God, the beast would not shut up about it! I'd just turned 17 and in his eyes that was well past time to find a mate. That urge only grew stronger whenever I saw Rae. Those long, perfect legs made it difficult to control myself, and don't get me started about the rest of her. I mean, I'd matured and grown into the superhero image, but Raven…Raven had become a goddess. She hadn't grown an inch but her hips and breasts filled out in ways that other woman would pay good money for. In the Beast's eyes she was perfect for a mate, in mine she was simply perfect.

That day hadn't exactly gone to plan; we were having a relaxing day on the roof of the tower, playing some volleyball, when the alarm sounded. Cinderblock had escaped…again. Why they hadn't improved the prison security by now was a mystery. Anyway, we got there early afternoon and there he was, crushing cars, tearing out lamp posts. The usual. The fight was going really well, until he caught Rae with the back of his hand and sent her flying across the road. The rational side of me knew she was fine, that she hadn't even hit the ground. The Beast however, decided he was out for blood. I don't know what happened after that, I came to with Robin handing an unconscious Cinderblock over to the cops, and Raven stood inches from me with worry in her eyes.

Like any logical human being, I ran. Or flew. Technically. The evening was drawing in and no one would bother me in my room. I could wait for Robin to cool off, and Rae to not be so worried. What if she was scared of me?

I napped until the early hours of the morning. The others didn't know but I'd been doing this for weeks. Since I'd started to feel different. The clearing I'd found in the woods was beautiful, and it gave me the space from Raven that I needed to gain some control over myself. That night was like all the others. I lay on the grass next to the stream, just listening to the running water with my eyes closed. This was my meditation. No mantra, just the sound of nature. Then, the sound of a snapping twig broke the peace. In a split second I was sat up, desperately searching for the source of the sound. I was vulnerable here, with my powers haywire, but I never thought anyone else knew about this place.

'She's here, in our domain' I saw her just after the beast had sensed her. Stood half behind a tree with her cloak pulled tight and hood up.

"Rae, what are you doing here?" She walked over and sat down to my left, gazing intently at the water.

"I wanted to know why you said what you said earlier." My confused expression seemed to annoy her slightly and she looked away as she continued. "When you became the beast, you referred to me as your mate. You hurt him because he hurt me. Changeling, what is going on?"

"It's nothing, just the beast being, well, the beast. Don't take it seriously." I tried to laugh it off but I could tell that she was having none of it. "It's nothing, really. My instincts are just screwed up at the minute."

"Garfield, tell me. I may be able to help. You can trust me." She said my name…Rae never said my name. The way she was looking at me made me want to tell her everything, and not just what had been going on with the Beast. I wanted to tell her about Africa, about my childhood, about how I had slowly been falling in love with her since we first met, how I knew she'd never feel the same but it didn't stop me dreaming of the future we could have. But I was weak and the Beast was strong. As I opened my mouth to speak, he lunged and kissed her dead on the lips. And to my surprise, I lived to see her expression as I pulled away. She looked dumbfounded. As though I had stolen all of her pretty little words and left her with nothing. So I stood up and decided to fill the silence as I had originally intended.

"On my birthday, the Beast started to get restless. He's been making it difficult for me. You see, him, and a lot of my instincts, want a mate. And he's got it into his dumb head that you're perfect. Not, that I don't think you're perfect but I know you'd never feel like that towards me. Anyway, when I saw you get hit, he kinda went into overdrive because he wanted to protect you…"

"You're rambling, Garfield." I finally stopped pacing and looked down at her. The moon made her hair shine purple, and there wasn't a hint of anger in her face. Slowly, she stood and walked to me. "You've grown up a lot this past year, and I think that I'm ready to say that I feel the same way." That tiny secret smile had me weak at the knees. I must have been dreaming.

"Really, because it means you can't be with anyone else, this would be forever. No trading me in for a more serious or less green model."

"I'm willing to take that chance." She took my left wrist delicately in her hands, and there was a sharp burning sensation that vanished in seconds. Her hands slid down to mine, revealing a raven with wings spread branded onto my skin. A warmth I'd only wished for filled me. I raised my right hand to the left side of her waist and gentle pressed three scratches around her side.

That night was magical. It may not have been the perfect experience that everyone says it's going to be, but the clumsiness only added to the romance and lust. Rae was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined and the longing finally left me. I had my mate.

Present Day

"Changeling, we need to talk about this!"

"Not now, Terra! We have literally only just got back and I'm exhausted."

"Look, I get that you need your space but I have needs too. All I'm asking for is the occasional kiss goodnight!"

"And I've told you before that I will when I'm ready." I closed the door on her. I was exhausted from fighting Mumbo, and I didn't want to have the same discussion for the twelfth time. I knew it was me in the wrong for leading her on but the others would ask questions if I ended it. As far as they knew I never stopped loving her. However as soon as I started to drift off a message came through on my communicator from Cy.

Just got alert that Rae's door has been opened. We're on our way up but could you check immediately.

Now, let me clarify. Raven's door had been locked since the night she was killed. She always locked it. But none of us near the combination. And she'd put a spell on it after Cy and I broke in for the seventh time. I couldn't even sneak under the door as a bug. So for it to open…

Needless to say, I ran out into the hallway. And there, stood outside Rae's open door was a tiny figure in a white cloak, hood pulled up.


End file.
